One Night in Bangkok - Starring Bobby Moss

Bobby got out of his business class seat and grabbed his bag before flashing his dazzling white smile at the air hostess before disembarking - the flight was a little early for a change. He strode up the ramp towards immigration where he was directed to the VIP queue to pass through. He pushed his sun bleached hair out of his eyes, cheekily winking at the immigration officer, who blushed at such a handsome man.

Passing through immigration was easy and he quickly picked up his bag, which, seeming as though the gods were with him, had come off first. Through to the arrivals hall, Bobby could feel the eyes of all the woman looking at him, wishing they were going home with him that night. His car was waiting for him. His driver opened the car door before drving quickly and smoothly into night, heading for Bangkok.

Bobby couldnt be bothered to check in yet to his hotel, so asked the driver to drop him off at a little bar he knew and the driver could check him in.

Bobby walked into the bar and sat at a seat. Immediately he was surrounded by beautiful women. Bobby was in his element.

Many hours later, Bobby left the bar with Orchid (or was it Ting Tong) - he didn't care. He was going back to the hotel with a beautiful woman and that was all he cared about.

WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED

Matt stood up from his seat and banged his head on the overhead locker. He then waited for ages with the other plebs to be let off the flight which was 30 minutes late.

Matt stood in line waiting for immigration - as usual he has picked the wrong line and waited for ages. Eventually he saw the immigration officer who stamped his passport (literally, not metaphorically) before waving him through.

As was normal, Matts bag was last. It eventually came and he went through to arrivals to meet his driver - who wasn't there! 10 minutes on the phone to the hotel and he found out they had forgotten to send one! They were very helpful though - they advised him to get a public taxi!!! Matt found out that Thai receptionists dont understand sarchasm (my spelling is sh1te).

Matt eventually got to his hotel later than expected. It took 2 people 15 minutes to check him in before getting to his room! Matt turned out the light and went to bed!